We all worry from time to time. Whether it’s concerns about work, family, finances, or health, occasional anxiety is a normal part of being human. But when worry becomes constant, overwhelming, and difficult to control, it can begin to affect every area of life.
The good news is that anxiety is really common. The not so good news is that it is impossible to have a life completely free of anxiety, and even if that were possible, it wouldn’t be helpful.
This is because the prime job of anxiety is to keep us away from things which may be dangerous. And you need this.
Understanding anxiety can really help us feel less afraid of it. Most often people become afraid of anxiety and then their anxiety levels go up. This is what keeps the problem going: we become convinced that something bad is going to happen, which in turn triggers our fight or flight response. This response then primes us for something bad to happen, even if it is not. With practice and constant effort, it becomes possible to interrupt this cycle.
It is super hard though when we have come from chaotic, dangerous, or uncertain backgrounds because our anxious alarm has become stuck on red, and so interpreting things as dangerous or not dangerous becomes skewed.
Anxiety can also be a byproduct of the wounds we carry from childhood, such as abandonment, rejection, and betrayal.
So, anxiety is one of the most common reasons people seek therapy. Many people struggle silently, believing they should simply “get on with it” or that their symptoms aren’t serious enough to ask for help. The truth is that anxiety can be exhausting.
What does anxiety feel like?
Anxiety affects everyone differently, but common symptoms include:
- Constant worrying or overthinking
- Feeling restless or unable to relax
- Difficulty concentrating
- Racing thoughts
- Trouble sleeping
- Increased irritability
- Muscle tension
- A sense of dread or feeling “on edge”
- Panic attacks or sudden feelings of intense fear
Some people experience anxiety primarily in their thoughts or beliefs, while others notice physical symptoms such as a racing heart, stomach problems, headaches, or shortness of breath.
Why is anxiety so common?
Modern life places enormous demands on us. Work pressures, financial concerns, social expectations, family responsibilities, and constant access to news and social media can leave us feeling overwhelmed.
Many people develop anxiety after stressful life events, while others may have experienced anxiety for years without fully recognising it.
How does anxiety affect your body?
When your brain experiences a threat (either real or perceived), it activates the body’s stress response by triggering adrenaline and cortisol into the bloodstream. It is the adrenaline which produces some of the physical symptoms of anxiety. These responses then signal to the brain that a threat is imminent, when in fact there is not and you are safe. The brain then maintains the stress response, keeping the fight or flight system online and creating a feedback loop.
Lots of people worry that anxiety is dangerous and, although not very nice, research has shown anxiety is not dangerous and has no adverse effect on life expectancy.
So what do I do?
- Name it: Just by naming anxiety, we can reduce the symptoms by up to 50%.
- Realise it is just a part: Knowing that it is a part of you reacting gives psychological space for a more wise adult part to come on the scene.
- Anxiety is a liar: Recognising that anxiety is not always truthful, so distinguishing between fear and danger, is really helpful.
- Anxiety is also a friend: It keeps you safe and tells you where you need to ‘grow’. It can also mean that you care about something.
- It will pass: Anxiety cannot go on an upward trend forever. Therapy can help you with techniques that you can learn to help take the trend downward. You then gain mastery and self-confidence.
- Breathe: Breathing is something that engages your ‘rest and digest’ system and combats anxiety, bringing you back down. A simple exercise is to slowly breathe in through your nose for a count of 4. Hold your breath for a count of 2. Slowly exhale through your mouth for a count of 6. Repeat this 20 times, giving your body time to settle back to normal. Be patient.
Above all, refuse to back down to anxiety.
Signs it may be time to seek help
You may benefit from speaking with a therapist if:
- Worry is affecting your daily life
- You avoid situations because of fear or anxiety
- Sleep problems are becoming frequent
- Anxiety is impacting your relationships
- You struggle to switch off or relax
- You experience panic attacks
- You feel emotionally exhausted by constant overthinking
Seeking support is not a sign of weakness. In fact, recognising when you need help is often a sign of strength and self-awareness.
You don’t have to manage anxiety alone
Living with anxiety can feel isolating, but you are not alone. Millions of people experience anxiety, and effective support is available.
Therapy isn’t about eliminating all worry from your life. It’s about helping you regain control, feel more confident, and live with greater calm and balance.
If anxiety is preventing you from enjoying life, reaching out for support could be the first step toward feeling like yourself again.